Oh geez, where do I start?
I’ve noticed a pattern in the weeks that have passed, and my current status is, saddeningly, following the same downward spiral. I fell behind around Wednesday, and I haven’t been able to catch up since then.
Well, to my credit, I did have an 8 page essay to write for school, so there’s that…but I just, gaaahhhh…
Thing is, I don’t like losing. I don’t really consider myself a competitive person when I’m competing against other people. But when I’m working on something for myself, especially if it’s writing, I can be so frustratingly perfectionistic.
I mean, I wrote almost 2.3k words for school, not including quoted sources and stuff. And then I expect myself to be able to write 1.7k words per day on top of that?
(Maybe I should note that this is not me bragging about my ability to write. It’s me warning myself to chill before I burn myself out, which I have done before and it was not fun and resulted in like months of writing nothing)
So this week I’ve been learning to accept failure. Yep, no lists this post, just the one thing that I’ve been learning my entire life. And that it’s not really failure, if I don’t let it remain that way. It can become…I don’t know [Insert some really profound metaphor here].
That’s the thing with NaNo, people get the misperception that failure is not an option. But I’m going to let you in on a secret: failure is always an option. It’s what you do with it that’s important.
I’m really proud of how far I’ve come so far. I hit 25,000 words! *breaks party popper* If not for NaNoWriMo, I probably would be stuck at 0 words, and I don’t even know if I ever would have picked ATS (Across These Stars) back up after setting it aside a year ago. And the point is that i’m writing again, and I’m absolutely in love with the story I’m writing, which is really the point of writing a novel in the first place. That’s flipping amazing you guys.
So if you’re in the same boat as me this week, remember to just keep writing. You can do this. If you love writing, and love what you’re doing, don’t stop to worry about equating your success to what a chart on a website is telling you. After all, NaNoWriMo is about community and having fun, right?
Best wishes for the final week! We’re so close!